A Lady Gaga song I listened to as I biked in to work this morning lodged into my head all day. Now I can't even remember which song it was that repeated itself over and over again while I worked. Curious. My brain stuffed with cotton and sludge these days. I float along in an alternate reality. I didn't think it possible that life could be a dream. I didn't believe Shakespeare's line in the Tempest, when Prospero says, "We are such stuff as dreams are made of, and our little life is rounded with a sleep." He may be referring to the corporeal self, and in that case perhaps he has a point. Not only is my life like a form of dream reality that I'm sleepwalking through, but even my body feels unconnected with my consciousness. I seem to be completely severed from the heaviness and physical truth of the real world. It's strange how complete emotional and mental destruction can cause this disembodied sense of the self in me. I don't think I've ever experienced this before. I am aware that my age has something to do with this. All is new when experience is no longer lightened by youth. Aging itself is a very bizarre and incredulous experience. Trapped is the feeling that gathers momentum as time flows by. Claustrophobia.
Sense or not, it may just be hogwash. Jibber jabber. Perhaps this dull mental state is easily explained away by the obvious: a Gaga song beating. Perhaps it's a result of watching a bit too much TV.
I don't feel that this evening will be good for writing anything, even a simple blog entry. Oh well.
Sense or not, it may just be hogwash. Jibber jabber. Perhaps this dull mental state is easily explained away by the obvious: a Gaga song beating. Perhaps it's a result of watching a bit too much TV.
I don't feel that this evening will be good for writing anything, even a simple blog entry. Oh well.
I went to Rainbow early this evening to buy a few items. Broccoli, a carrot, red leaf lettuce, two japanese sweet potatoes. One thing that I needed but did not buy was a stick of butter. I knew I should have visited the dairy section. Seeing the yogurt, eggs, and milk might have made me remember to buy butter. There may be enough butter left for breakfast tomorrow. That should work. I should have brought a stick over from the Trove. My problems would have been solved, and I would not have had anything important to forget. One of these days, I'll start writing lists. That would help. I suspect that lists may be just the thing my life needs now. Making lists for various aspects of life require a certain amount of conscientiousness. That's my new thing. I wish to become conscientious about absulutely everything.
con·sci·en·tious
ˌkänCHēˈenCHəs/
adjective
- 1.(of a person) wishing to do what is right, esp. to do one's work or duty well and thoroughly."a conscientious and hardworking clerk"
synonyms: diligent, industrious, punctilious, painstaking, sedulous, assiduous,dedicated, careful, meticulous, thorough, attentive, hard-working,studious, rigorous, particular; More
- 2.relating to a person's conscience."the act does not provide exemption from service on the basis of personal conscientious beliefs"
